Tuesday, June 10, 2014

In the Name of Beauty

As I flitted around in front of the mirror the other morning applying makeup and trying on various outfits I got to thinking about all of the things people do to alter/improve their appearance. I began creating a mental list of the procedures I have done, the products I use and the social norms I abide by. Most people at least maintain the basics: brush their teeth, bathe regularly, comb their hair, wear clothing etc. However, and I do NOT consider myself to be a "high maintenance" lady, the following is the list of things I do, pay for, apply, or remove in the name of "beauty":


I pay for the following:
Hair cuts
Manicure
Pedicure
Eyebrow wax

I apply the following:
Foundation
Powder
Eye shadow
Eye liner
Mascara
Lip gloss
Deodorant
Lotion
Hair dye
Acne cleanser
Makeup remover
Perfume (occasionally)

I remove the following:
Hair from legs
Hair from arm pits
Pluck eyebrows

I do the following:
Brush teeth (with whitening toothpaste)
Floss
Shower daily
Wash hair
Condition hair
Brush hair
Buff heels
Wear "shape shifters" under certain clothing (that is the name I gave Spanx and the likes that smooth things out/suck things in)
Wear high heels (to appear taller/leaner)
Accessorize with jewelry (presumably to make myself look appealing to others)

In addition to those things listed, I have worn braces, undergone lasik surgery, and pierced my ears and nose (I am aware that the nose thing is controversial and may not be considered positive by some but rather a negative addition). I purchase clothing based on what accentuates the desirables and camouflages the flaws and do my best to wear fashionable ensembles. 

Again, I am not high maintenance compared to some folks but I am sure I do more than others. I just thought it interesting to reflect on the rituals I do in an effort to present the best version of myself to the world according to my own ideas of beauty as well as popular culture. 

I find Schmidt from New Girl to be hilarious, but according to him I am doing it wrong:

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