Hiring People Sucks

I think I have said it before on here, but I HATE the hiring process! It is so time-consuming and draining. You have to create an ad that gives enough detail so that every Tom, Dick, and Harry doesn't apply, but you want to have something to talk about when the interviews roll around besides "well, it's all in the ad I posted". I like to put at the bottom below the description of duties that a cover letter must accompany resumes to see if applicants can follow directions. Then you receive 10,000 responses because the economy sucks. No cover letter = automatically deleted. That weeds through a few. Then you get to read the same thing over and over and over. "I am a highly-motivated, dedicated, hard worker." "I believe I have all of the skills necessary to perform the job you are advertising for." "I have great customer service/data entry/people skills." "Through my previous work experiences I have gained a lot of knowledge about the service industry." Blah. Blah. Blah. At this point my mind starts to wander to other things and I have to re-read cover letters 6 times before I retain anything. Once I have sorted through the responses and deleted any that did not submit a cover letter, or their blurb contained more than one spelling/grammar issue (I am a stickler for detail and if you did not proof read your one opportunity to impress me then I do not want to waste my time meeting you in person) then comes the scheduling of interviews. What time works for me? When am I not knee-deep in projects? How much time should I set aside for folks? Okay, send out emails inviting people to come in for interviews, now I wait for responses. Once all of that is squared away the big day(s) finally comes when I get to see if the words turned into me match the words that come out of the person's mouth. There is a lot of "oh, yes, I know how to do that", and "definitely, I think I would be a great fit here". I wonder what percentage of the information exchanged during a formal interview is pure and utter bull shit?? Of course no one is going to say "I really just need a job and am not truly qualified to do anything so this ad seemed like it may work. I am usually late for work and have been known to not show up at all." It would save so much time and energy if people were 100% honest. (Kind of like in the movie The Invention of Lying.) None the less, if I feel a hunch about a few then I bring them back in a couple of days later to meet with my Supervisor and Boss. From there we all discuss our opinions, intuitions, and judgments hopefully agreeing upon one suitable candidate. This is the step I am at currently. I now have one person that may work out. Time is ticking and the holidays (aka: the busy season) are getting closer and closer so it is now or never. On Monday I will call the top potential and hope that a) they have not accepted another position elsewhere over the weekend, and b) that they do indeed "fit in" and "work out" well with me, the department, and the company as a whole. Hiring is stressful, requires a lot of time, and in the end is truly just a gamble. You cannot make someone be the ideal employee, you just have to hope you picked the right person with the right work ethic. Only time will tell...